out of control

seriously, people, i'm sitting here, trying to write a few emails, minding my own business... i look up, HUGE-ASS spider on my wall. like, seriously, HUGE-ASS. i know i'm somewhat prone to exaggeration when it comes to these things, but with a spider this huge on your wall, there's no NEED for exaggeration.

someone must be trying to kill me. there's no other explanation. spiders this big do not just happen!!!!

i heart valentine's day

not really, of course--i fall rather into the what-a-load-of-commercialist-bs camp, but to each his/her own... and i certainly don't hate the holiday enough to devote my time and energy to raging against it. and it's not all bad--after all, i got an endearing valentine's day card from my mother =) (everyone together now: awwwwww!!) besides, god knows there are greater evils in the world!! speaking of which...

what's this about cheney shooting people!?!?!

it's things like that that make me miss ann arbor. i miss the flippant political remarks made by grumpy and occasionally not so grumpy folks of all political persuasions before, during, or after getting their coffee in the morning. i love the way they always assume you agree with them, because they're right, of course! here, it's pretty one-sided. i mean, every hates Bush. that's just a given, not even worth wasting your breath on the subject. ann arborites, on the other hand, have a knack for making it a new and exciting topic every day!!

spring, spiders, and scary movies

this is like the sixth day in a row now that i've had spider encounters. can we talk about this!?!?!? this is SO not ok. first of all, six days, does not mean just six spiders. there have been more than six. yes, that's right. that means multiple spiders in a single day. sometimes within the span of 3 minutes. not really how i like to start my day, but ok.

it was starting to get warmer at the beginning of last week, so i just kind of figured it was the weather, and they'd all decided to come out of hiding. and spring--yes, i know it's still february, but today definitely felt like spring--means spider babies, you know, like in charlotte's web. by the way, i know a lot of kids are really traumatized by that book and/or movie because of wilbur and everything, and all of a sudden they won't eat bacon anymore or something. but me? nope. my vegetarian phase started much later, and has nothing to do with wilbur, adorable as he may be. i always had nightmares about the part where charlotte's eggs start to hatch, and there are millions of little baby spiders parachuting all over the place. in fact, it seems they've all parachuted into the general vicinity of my room. aghhhhhhh!!!!!

but speaking of movies that cause nightmares... out of nowhere today i remembered this scary movie i'd watched with some friends at a sleepover, and i couldn't remember what it was called or anything, just the basic plotline--it was based on an urban legend that we'd all heard growing up, and all i really remembered was that we'd all woken up at some point during the night totally freaked out. (they even made a sequel, so you know it was bad!) then i was reading the new york times online today and happened to look at the box office info for last weekend... "when a stranger calls" ...hey...wasn't that the name of that movie!?!?! yup. freaky. a remake, evidently. super. (i still get chills when i think of the scene with the tea kettle...) kind of curious about the new version. probably not curious enough to see it, though, because you really shouldn't see that kind of movie outside of the context of a jr. high sleepover. besides, the spiders are scary enough at the moment, thank you.

oh, i just remembered why i thought of the movie in the first place--my phone rang today, and when i went to answer it, there was no one there, and it kind of freaked me out. i mean, not really. i do realize this kind of thing happens. but somehow it led to the whole "when a stranger calls" thing. weird.

code-switching galore

so i'm walking home from the bus stop this afternoon, when the guy in front of me stops suddenly and starts rubbing his knee. half thinking i should ask if he's ok, half thinking that is sooo the oldest trick in the book, i keep walking, minding my own business. sure enough, about 30 seconds later, his knee is mysteriously healed and he's caught up to me. the following conversation ensued:

random guy: wir laufen den gleichen weg.
yours truly: anscheinend.
rg: kommst du aus ingelfingen oder bist du hier zu besuch?
yt: [thinking, hmm, that was an interesting way to phrase that question--kind of limits my options in answering, eh?] ich wohne in ingelfingen. [how you like them apples, hey?]
rg: ich geh jetzt a bissl heim.
yt: ... [na, und???]
rg: (repeats) ich geh jetzt a bissl heim. ich musste was in Kuenzelsau erledigen, und jetzt geh ich heim. meine mutter besuchen. ich wohne aber alleine. proceeds to tell me which family he rents the apartment from and lists other neighbors names. i don't know any of them.
yt: schoen.
slightly awkward pause
rg: gehst du noch in die schule?
yt: [laughing--is he for real??] neeee.
rg: wie alt bist du, wenn ich fragen darf?
yt: [rolling eyes über-dramatically, debating whether to bother with a response] 25
rg: ich bin 27.
yt: [shrug--that's nice]
rg: ich haette gedacht 19 oder 18.
yt: [still rolling eyes] danke
rg: blabs on about how it's better to have people think you're younger than you are, and how when he was 15 everyone thought he was 18 or 19, but now that he's 27, everyone thinks he's 23 or something.
yt: mmhmm
another awkward pause
rg: ich bin griecher.
yt: [nod]
rg: warst du schon mal in Griechenland?
yt: nee, noch nicht.
rg: schoenes land, griechenland.
yt: das hab ich schon gehoert.
rg: das hast du schon gehoert?
yt: ja, ich wuerde gern mal hin.
slightly less awkward pause
rg: warst du schon mal im Ausland?
yt: [i'm dying at this point, right...] mmm. ja.
rg: und wo warst du schon?
yt: [laughing. i mean, i can't help it! is he serious?] in den USA, in Ungarn, in... (first of all, yes, i know als echter deutsche sagt man "in amerika" statt "in den USA" but i can't pronounce "amerika" auf deutsch, no matter how hard i try!!!)
rg: [interrupts me] in amerika?? echt? wo in amerika?
yt: [shaking head. i still can't believe i'm having this conversation.] mm, ueberall, eigentlich.
rg: [eyes growing almost embarrassingly wide] was? wie? kommst du nicht aus deutschland? bist du auch auslaender?
yt: amerikanerin.
rg: amerikanerin, echt?
yt: [seriously, would i make that up??] jaaaaa.
rg: you speak english?
yt: jaaaaa.
rg: you understand english?
yt: [is this a joke?? ]jaaaa.
rg: this is my house.
yt: super [i keep walking]
rg: ok, bye
yt: tschüss. schoenen tag noch. [i walk away still shaking my head]

p.s. i got off easy on that one. usually they insists on following you a while longer. phewww.
you WISH this was your life.

february. flowers. i still love you.

so i wrote this huge rambling spiel yesterday about california, flowers in february, winter, the midwest and music, among other things, and as fate would have it, the whole thing went up in a puff of smoke as i tried to post it. so instead y'all got lots of lyrics.

(speaking of which... 8 million cool points if you can name the artist and/or song referenced in the title!)

and i have discovered that i'm living in the bermuda triangle. or something like it. the comedy of errors and string of coincidences that somehow are my life are more than i can comprehend. allow me not to explain at all. grin.

so, notes from yesterday...
i've been missing california a lot lately. it's strange but true. although i'm a midwestern girl at heart, every now and then i get these funny california cravings. i miss the warmth and the ocean and flowers in february and green and sunshine and rows of pastel stuccoed houses with fake lawns and miles of conrete strip malls punctuated with strategically placed palm trees and more neon that your neurons can handle all at once.

it doesn't help that i've been listening to lots of trespassers william. they're from orange county, but don't hold it against them. to listen to them, you'd think they were from some bleak winterlorn corner of northern ontario. (yes, i know "winterlorn" isn't a real word. but don't you think it should be??) which brings me to my next point: midwesterners write the best winter music. period. (insert ponderous look.) well, "midwesterners" including those who hail from the Great Lakes Region--and we'll include Canada in that category. (hmm, how many canadians did i just piss off!?!?=)) but anyways. sufjan stevens, great lake swimmers, the innocence mission, linford detweiler, the cowboy junkies... their music is rooted in place in a way that betrays their midwestern-ness. it's steeped in something that can only be understood against the subtle landscape of the silence and stillness that fill the spaces and days of a melancholy midwestern winter, waiting--still and still moving--with steadfast resolution, for the spring.

anyways. looks like i got my flowers in february after all =)
(nelsen, what was that about my "power color"?!?!!?)

insomnia

Over the Rhine: The World Can Wait

if this should end tomorrow
all our best laid plans
and all our typical fears
am I running out of lifetimes
this is not the first time
something ends in just tears

but tomorrow I can't imagine
how am I supposed to know
what's yet to go down ?
is there only one religion
the kind that whispers
when nobody comes around ?

the world can wait
the world can wait
I wanna drink the water from your well
I wanna tell you things i'll never tell
the world can wait
the world can wait
i'm wide awake
and the world can wait

I want to feel and then some
I have five senses
I need thousands more at least
every day a page of paper
every night a photograph
a moveable feast

so fade to black and white now
roll the movie of my life
inside of my head
'cause like all true believers
I am truly skeptical
of all that I have said

the world can wait
the world can wait
I wanna drink the water from your well
I wanna tell you things i'll never tell
the world can wait
the world can wait
i'm wide awake
and the world can wait

haven't I said enough
haven't I said far too much
haven't we done enough
haven't we done far too much

tomorrow...

i have way too much to say about everything and nothing right now, so i decided to sort it out later and leave you with this for now:

Tomorrow On The Runway

Old days, don't come to find me,
the sun is just about to climb up over there.
'While my heart is sinking I do not want my voice
to go out into the air'.
Did you leave the darkness without me?
You're always miles ahead.
And you're standing in tomorrow on the runway.

Oh be the music in my head,
the air around my bed, oh be my rest.
Replace the small disgraces of
the times and places that I never really left.
Did you leave the darkness without me?
You're always miles ahead.
And you're standing in tomorrow on the runway.

Oh I want to fly, fly forward into the light,
be alive, to come alive,
on the leaf-bright Friday drive,
sudden horses at the red light,
turn around, see clearer ways to go now.

can we talk about how much i love the innocence mission?!??!

thirsty?

"can i get you something to drink?"

this is absolutely hilarious.
(and those of you who know what i drink are laughing your asses off right now, aren't you?)

who wants to do my taxes?? anyone?

yeah. got home this afternoon and was all excited to find an envelope in front of my door. woohoo!! mail!! NOPE. not real mail. just my stupid W-2's.... blaaaaahhhhh. i hate having to do taxes. i don't DO math!!!!

i did, however, have another lovely encounter with my favorite bus driver today. grin. oh yes. because i was almost having a good morning anyway... well, actually i was, sort of. i had just bumped into an acquaintance, and starting your day with a smile is never a bad thing. and wednesdays are usually pretty decent at school anyway, so yeah, considering i didn't actually want to be awake at all, i was having a pretty good morning. 'til i got on the bus. my favorite bus driver (hereafter MFBD. coincidence, that that starts with MF?!?!? wait, did i say that out loud? (i always wondered about starbucks and the mocha frappuccino abbreviation. that just seems so...un-corporate!!!) hmmm.)

anyways... i get on the bus, say good morning, show MFBD my ticket as usual. he indicates that he wants to have a closer look, smirks triumphantly and hands it back to me asking what month it is. i realize right away what he's so happy about. see, today is the first day of february, which means i should have switched my bus ticket--i have the student ticket, which you pay for all at once--or at least 6 months at a time, i'm not quite sure, but at any rate, you get the first six tickets for september through february all at once, and you're supposed to switch them every month. right. so i, having, of course, completely forgotten about the bus ticket thing, although i had at one point realized that today would be the first of the month, had the distinct pleasure of brightening MFBD's day. i rise to the challenge, of course (not), rolling my eyes (what else am i gonna do!?!?) at MFBD while i take my ticket back and inform him that he's right, it's now february. (i.e." you win, buddy.") evidently not satisifed with such an easy victory, he asks again, "what month is it?" just to make sure everyone else got it. i stare him down (don't mess with me, buddy, it is way too early in the morning for this kind of bullshit) and tell him again. my friend sanaiya is already on the bus, so i sit next to her, still shaking my head, half laughing at the absurdity of the whole thing and half pissed at myself for forgetting to switch my ticket and making myself such an easy target. she informs me he's been doing this all morning, which i quite believe. the girl who got on behind me had forgotten, too, but got off pretty easy, seeing as i'd born the brunt of it.

seriously people, i've gone at least a week without remembering to switch my ticket in the past without anyone so much as batting an eye. and why should they? it's paid for. in order to get one of these tickets with ANY month from september through february printed on it, you have to have already paid for the first sixth months. so it's not like he could really charge me--or any of the other students he harassed about it--for the bus fare. (well, he probably could have, but it wouldn't have been worth it, because it would have taken about two words from any of the parents for everyone to get their money back.) so it's not like he gets anything--other than personal satisfaction--out of giving all of us crap about it. he clearly does it out of spite, just to make people feel stupid. i mean, ok, i remember going through a phase like that, too--when i was like, 8!!!! getting brainteaser books from the library and stumping my brother or even occasionally my parents. (do y'all remember the "want to take an intelligence test?" thing? where you ask someone if they want to take an intelligence test, and then ask 4 or 5 questions of varying difficulty, then ask, "what was the first question i asked?" and no one remembers that the first question you'd actually asked was "do you want to take an intelligence test?"... it's kind of like that. it's just kind of bratty. (yes, i'll admit it. i was a bratty kid. at least at times. maybe i still am. at least at times =)) all i'm trying to say is that most people grow out of this phase. MFBD, however, has evidently not. and while i can forgive him his general grumpiness and even, yes, his downright brattiness, i have not yet forgiven him for intentionally ruining my one good morning!! (ok, so really only 10 minutes of it...but still!) if he had picked a normal day, when i was feeling a bit grumpy myself, say, then fine. but it had to be today, when i was, for half a second, having a GOOD morning??? the bastard!

grin.